Sometimes, I hate my self.

I took a sip on my coffee cup and look at the time. It's 11:45am. I was supposed to be in our office for an Editorial Board meeting but here I am, enjoying my weekend with my sisters, lying in my bed that I could only be with for one night or two. I just started to be busy since the 2nd week of July and it is actually normal for a graduating college student like me. It'll be a long weekend since today is Sunday and Monday-Tuesday is an Official Holiday. Just Wow!

Let's talk about why I hate my self. Please read my second sentence on the first paragraph. I don't know what's the problem with me. I can't even be more punctual in that office for this year. I don't really know. What I know is that I can't take myself out of that group of elite people who are specialized in the so called Journalism. Yeah, I am a staff. I am a Photojournalist there. Before I joined the team, I asked my self to do something what I really don't like. And it is to take responsibility that I can't manage. Obviously, this is the result. Actually, I really love taking photographs and submitting them to our EIC and then publish it. It is really fucking awesome feeling. Aside from that, there is nothing more I love. Oh, asking about them as my colleagues? They're nice. But I can't help myself comparing their knowledge to mine. They are awesome and I am just an average one. Maybe, that's one of the reasons why there's an edge between me and the team.

Isn't it nice to know the answers to you questions unconsciously? Because earlier I just said that I don't know why I don't want to be with them but then I just answered it. I just noticed. Oh m!

It's just that, the only answer to our questions cannot be answered by whoever Poncious Pilate but it is You and only You who knows it. Just wait for the right time and your questions will turn out into an awesome conclusions.