Oblong is a perfect circle

At Baguio City, Philippines during my OSSEI days. First day last OSSEI.(With the  Phoenix Pips)
Photo courtesy by: Alexis

I want to have a perfect life. I know everybody wants it. But then, nobody is perfect. Why there are always buts in every wants? And do we really need to push harder than hard? I don’t know. I don’t see myself a girl with efforts. They say, some people say, that I do give efforts in some things but I don’t feel like I am satisfied besides, I always felt this useless and that everything I do isn’t enough to make them feel contented. But still, I do not strive. Today I feel it, later I don’t. I have this kind philosophy in life that I don’t need to push myself to be the best in something yet there are things around me that I can also learn. Honestly, I kinda feel guilty for when I see them in full efforts to which I cannot. I am not a genius though. I am contented that I know a little knowledge in everything rather than be a master of every such. My world doesn’t go round this life thus I live in a box shaped world with a lot of intersections and four side kind of life that I bet you cannot understand. I am not trying to be different it’s just that I am already different and we are all different. When I saw that huge reality that we are all different, that is also the day I exactly begun to stop comparing. I get irritated with people with annoying attitudes but my irritations have nothing to do to make them change. I hate them today; I hate them forever I guess.

Do you have any idea how many times I ctrl A and del this essay? I don’t have any idea though. I always happen to see another idea that is much better to what I write today and never mind the last idea that I decided to build and bear. That’s me. I am not contented. I always get distracted. I always change my mind as fast as I cannot believe. I forgot things. I am irresponsible but there is one thing I am proud of myself. I didn’t blame myself because I believe in destiny. They say destiny is a matter of choice but then as a matter of fact this was totally all my choice so why should I blame myself? There is no perfect life but we can live a perfect one. We can act like we live perfectly without peeing on someone’s head. Problems are made to be solved and I know you wouldn’t create a problem that you cannot stand and answer. Remember the problems in Math? There is always an answer isn’t it? If you do not know the answers, use calculator. Simple. J